you know you're right.

yeah, the pills are never enough... just don't give up.

but anway. such progress on 2000 Man this evening. i was a bit scared that i'd lost my voice in marijuana, that i could only write when i was high... but really, i write a lot WORSE when i'm stoned. i come up with a few brilliant but unrefined ideas and call it a day. the brilliancy is more latent when i'm sober but that's just because i'm still holding back.

i edited the first thirteen pages and gave the whole story an overhaul. ugh, i was heading towards making my main character this fruity mechanic. re-reading those passages i wrote makes me shudder... but i'm combining Meteor with 2000 Man now because they're pretty much the same story and the same character--Meteor was just premature ejaculation. i always felt like it was unrealized.

but now... oh-hoho. i'm sure the ideas aren't original but i AM sure that my perspective is. i'm not hiding from it anymore: this story is me, through and through. it's the only thing i know. everything i write won't be about me. i'm sure that as i grow as a writer i'll want challenges, like actually trying to get IN to character's head as opposed to making assumptions based on my own philosophies. right now this is catharsis.

and yeah. i use 'me' and 'i' too much, too. editing tonight made me realize that...