the walls were thin.

iwthin
withni
within

i had an awesome day. i got into an effective groove at work today and the day just slipped on by. i really enjoy all of my co-workers and most of the regulars and i feel like everyone respects me (to varying degrees, of course). it's cool to hear other people pick up your lingo and take an interest in your mind. i had a great conversation with this one guy andrew today about wes anderson films, my philosophical views and my writing, but i really wanted him to talk more about himself because i've been curious about him since i started there. i guess i ramble a bit when i get going. i know he's some sort of liberal christian but he's intelligent enough that i know there's a bit more to him than that.

people are so fascinating.

my boss is young at heart but it's so beautiful sometimes. i see him get excited about simple things and it reminds me of all the good parts of humanity. matt is hilarious and really smart: we relate to each other on a lot of things. and because trishe is around i really get to have a lot of fun. i need someone to encourage my silly antics or i get self-conscious.

i listened to avalanche while closing today and got out relatively on time. mark got off work at 3 today so we smoked a joint and had some amazing sex. like, it happened two hours ago and i'm still kind of euphoric. fun times. now i'm gonna go play final fantasy vi with him. i can't wait to get past the floating continent... will mark be as surprised as i was when the world ends?

holy fucker.

minerva looked up to me as if to say 'there is a whole other universe under there that we don't know about.' she sat back down and watched the hole for him to come back out but he never did.

wait, i should start at the beginning.

this is not a dramatization. i was washing dishes like a good househusband when all of a sudden this crazy white and black bug scuttled out from a crack between the floor and the cupboard. i thought it looked rather bizarre so i went to grab minerva, the closest living thing. when i set her down to watch the mayhem she merely blinked a few times and then spat up some viscous grey substance. i let her get her bearings and sure enough, a few seconds later she noticed the little fucker. due to all the commotion, fucker there went and slipped back under the cupboard. at this point minerva and i were simply astounded.

but what i said at the beginning... was a lie. while minerva was looking up at me, pondering aloud the universe beneath, fucker came back out of the cupboard. it hit me: this thing totally looks like a parasite. well, what you'd see under a telescope. maybe i shouldn't be letting my smallanimal near this thing... but no matter! minerva is fucking scared of the thing and jumps away as it bolts into the living room. this thing is fucking fast, you have no idea. it freaked me out in all honesty. i feared for the safety of my kitten, myself and most importantly my house, so i did what any decent man would do: i grabbed a bare paper towel roll and killed the fucker.















also, i had the strangest urge to write a 'did he die on the bus?' story today at work but got bored with the notion. but somehow, i think i lived it out anyway.

the 24 conspiracy,

i just happened to be stoned while 24 came on and was grasped and throttled by its ADDness. after that got boring i started to realize that there were a lot of B actors in this series. like, a whole lot. the principal off of buffy, claire's boyfriend from six feet under, that weird fruity guy from ally mcbeal. kiefer sutherland in and of himself was b actor when this show came out. honestly, the list goes on. and i'm thinking that this show, through and through, is meant to appeal to people with ADD. like, you're flipping the channel and all of a sudden you see... that girl off the movie you forget. you watch to see if you remember then all of a sudden, BAM. you get 24'd. seriously, the cameras (there are TWO. you don't need two; most of the time you're looking at someone trying to look tense and looking more constipated than anything) are never still, someone's always pacing and there's a whole lot of flashy lights and/or explosions going down at any given moment. this whole thing gains validity when you think of how everyone and his donkey (i'm on a real donkey fixation lately) is ADD'd these days. omg, i can HEAR that fucking clock from that show in the background.

munchies snack mix (the chips) are yummy.



scary.

slow incline.

it's sad that i miss dustin sometimes. he was just an interesting person to be around. it's too bad we didn't meet later in life. we could've still had some shenanigans.

i was just in the process of removing old entries from my two online journals, ones that i think aren't relevant anymore. a lot of it embarrasses me now because most of it was an obvious ploy for any sort of attention. reading all of this reminds me of how much fun i've had since moving to ottawa.

i've been feeling like my life has sort of come to a stop lately but there's a difference between stasis and static. it's slow, but i'm beginning to accept that life doesn't have to be exciting *all* the time. it sounds like a silly thing to think about but the past six months or so have really been a time of repair for me. i'm completely safe at the moment, something i'm experiencing for the first time in my life. some days i can't even appreciate the safety: i revert to old ways of thinking and wonder why everything isn't more spectacular. i take it out on mark and myself, the two things i know i will never lose. it sucks, but it usually only lasts a day at a time.

i've been playing a lot of guitar lately. i know it will never be my calling but i will always dabble in it, if only for myself. dustin really helped make it interesting for me. at the time my pride got in the way of letting him know that but the few chords and techniques he taught me have brought me a long way. it's a nice alternative to writing, something i can feel out rather than think out. but yeah. i'm working on a cover of 'professional widow' by tori amos. it sound pretty accurate and yet quite different, which i think is essential in a cover. the only thing: i know i can't sing melodiously but have already gotten noise complaints so i can no longer bellow at the top of my lungs...

he'll probably grow up to be a yuppie and a sell-out.

nothing is ever alone.

take for example something as mundane as a cat. it is a concept: a companion, a comfort, something that needs you. and yet it will always be fur and flesh, needing food and possessing instinctive behaviour.

it exists as both concept and meaning. there are plenty of other ways in which it can keep itself company. randomly, two traits compliment each other to an extraordinary extent.

because of these two traits, because of concept and meaning, everything is worthwhile.








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>>>Why you know you're a stoner:
>10recycle ideas make sense
>>9the sensation sends you running out
>>8see nothing wrong